glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He has the fingertips of a God
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