Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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