i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
