that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
