Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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