My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just had sex bonerless
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
