Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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