Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
