you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
