No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
