we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
