Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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