I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
