No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
