At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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