If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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