So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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