Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
