guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
