there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there is glitter all over my balls
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