she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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