I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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