trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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