my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
