you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
