Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
