How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
