I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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