True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
