I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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