PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
