THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
