You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
