just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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