I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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