Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize