You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
