THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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