Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
