Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
