mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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