i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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