I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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