Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
