Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
