You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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