The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
