When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize