My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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