i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
