I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize