i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
