Pants 0. Shit 1.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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