Already got asked if we're dating
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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