if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
