The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
