: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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