Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
And then he peed in my hair
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
