he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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