this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
