I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize