I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up under a house in Key West
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