Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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