I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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