She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
