he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
